I am turning 36 today!
Holy Smokes!
I don't feel 36.
I like to think I don't look 36, ha ha!
But ya know, this was the first birthday where I was feeling this nagging feeling like
'Ugh, I don't want to turn a year older', let's ignore it...maybe it'll go away, ha ha ha!
I wouldn't want to go back to my 20's.
I've loved my 30's
but now I am past the mid-point on the way to the 40's and that's feeling stressful!
Stressful I think because I've just been feeling really behind on things!
When we're younger we set these huge and long do-to lists for ourselves.
We not only have to live up to our self-appointed life plans
but we naively set a time schedule to them too...
and I just think that's where the stress can start to creep in!
When you remember your plans and realize that your a decade or so behind...
it's a scary and a huge YIKES moment!!!
It's all like this heavy piece of luggage we tote around with us
but very rarely open up to see if what's inside is still needed, still wanted or still valid!!!
So I need to open up my luggage...
take a really good long inside, gently toss out what's not needed & fold in the new stuff that is!
To do so is to continue on my path to be super kind to myself.
To let go of some stress...
to smartly live in the present & to continue to grow into who I want to be.
To continue working hard for the future plans I need now...not the future planned so very long ago!
Cause ya know I've learnt this so far in my 35 years...
Plans need room to change & grow in order to be fulfilled.
Our needs change with life and that's more than normal & right...it means we're growing.
Sometimes beautiful sacrifices must be made in order to pursue a dream...and that's okay too.
And, we must NOT compare our journey to anyone else's because we all walk our own unique path.
BUT, we shouldn't be afraid to check in with ourselves often
because new dreams might be sitting there unrealized
and those new dreams may totally outshine & outweigh old dreams.
I also started thinking about all of the loved ones no longer on this earth...
the souls who weren't lucky enough to see their 20's or 30's or 40's etc
and I am filled with this hugely warming and immense sense of gratitude & luck that I am here.
I am here to learn & live & grow and indeed turn a year older.
It's a blessing, plain & simple.
And those who know me well, know that I love celebrating my birthday, ha ha.
I want to celebrate it, I want to dance, I want to laugh
and yes, I want oodles of presents to open, ha ha ha.
So come on year 36.
Bring on all of your ABUNDANCE & LUCK
& GOODNESS & Sweetness &
LOVE LOVE LOVE & of course LEARNING!
I am ready.
