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Monday, February 10, 2020

Prsent In Pain

This has been a hard week...well a hard month really.
The weather is my biggest trigger & it's been very constantly up and down.
I've spent more time horizontal than standing up being productive this past week...
which I find really difficult because whiles sure the pain sucks big time, I love getting things done.

BUT as much as it sucks, I think I am still mostly able to be 'present' in my life
during and despite the pain and I really do think that that attitude of 'being present', helps me out.

It's a scary statistic of something like 40% of migraine sufferers also suffer from serious depression.
But I think I stay away from getting too down by being "present".
How do I do that even when in great amounts of pain?

I make sure I am concentrating on all the beautiful things happening around me as I am suffering.
Even if I can't open my eyes, I make my ears zone in on the 'happy sounds' like;
my honey moving about the house & having a whole conversation with one of the 9 buns;
Stacks of books by the bed that I can jump into as soon as the pain passes;
The sound of the buns eating or my hon cooking is one of the best sound whether I am in pain or not.
I think about a new image I can't wait to make progress on once I can get back into the studio.
I stay present by basking in the beauty of all the sweetness around me despite the pain...
like knowing when one of the buns is on the bed and reaching out to touch a warm precious body.
The buns keep me present, they are like angels, literally standing over me concerned, watching, loving, supporting, waiting for me to get back to my normal self
and no amount of pain can knock the beauty of that away from me.
I might have a life riddled with difficult pain sure
but my oh my there's so so much beauty mixed in there as well....SO much.

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