Mandy Saile: this is me

Today is my 42nd birthday...

my lessons in the past year have been this...

1. It's okay to live a life that no one else understands

as long as your not hurting anyone else, live it...follow your bliss.

2. It's a waste of time to worry about the wrinkles, they're gonna come no matter what.

3. Unattended stress/emotion/pain etc can be absolute havoc for the body (even tended crap can too)

& sometimes sadly that havoc can be permanent (for me it took the form of fibromyalgia).

4. Many of my days are just about getting through the day with all of the pain I live with

and I realized that sometimes I will be ahead of the game but most of the time

I will be way way behind, that's just the way it is, there's no point fighting it anymore.

Some days I will be okay with that and other days I'll wanna scream & I am allowed to scream.

There's a lot of stigma & misunderstanding that goes with being a chronic sufferer

and I am going to spend a good amount of this year learning to better cope & talking about it will be part of that process. I am aware that some people aren't comfortable with my honesty or openness or they just have no basis for comparison so it doesn't grab them and I am more than okay with those who want to tune out, I am seeking connection on this topic to help & inspire myself (and hopefully some others as well), cope, manage and heal, it won't be a conversation for everyone and that's fine.

4. Find your happiness, cultivate it, soak in it, bask in it & don't feel guilty about it for one single second because the bad stuff is going to come no matter what & it's likely not at all going to be what you've been wasting your time worrying about...so be as happy as you can in between the bad stuff.

5. There will be times when it's glaringly obvious whose there for you in times of need & who's not.

Don't waste your time, shine your light towards the positive, warm & helpful people in your life.

and 6. More than anything in the past year I have proven to myself again & again that I am one excellent bunny-mama and that I am in more ways than one a super resilient tough-ass chick.

So Happy Birthday to me and may it be another awesome year of learning. XO.

I am moving slowly this week from a monster migraine that attacked Friday afternoon &

didn't let me go until late Sunday afternoon, I can still feel the remnants...

Thanks goodness for the buns who bolster my spirits as I suffer with their beauty & preciousness.

It's still threatening to circle back around which is one reason I am moving slowly.

My routine is certainly not like most peoples and I still haven't learnt to fully accept that yet.

Whiles it's a waste of time to wish this pain away, it's never a waste of time to see all the silver linings which is that this pain I deal with offers my life magic too, it slows me down so that I can smell all the roses and it plays a large part in my colourful whimsical work, so whiles I can't ever ever say that
I like the pain, I can for sure I am in some strange Wonderland-ish way be thankful for it!

& I gotta say though, it's been great 'meeting' fellow head pain sufferers on Instagram.