Mandy Saile: Getting Up & Pretending

Instagram - Mandy Saile

Instagram - WhirlInCircles

Behance

Behance

Pintrest

www.MandySaile.com

Email

Monday, November 28, 2016

Getting Up & Pretending

Okay so the first post that I write after I lose a bunny is always hard for me...

I think because it feels so normal

and when I grieve, I fight against anything normal.

Normal just feels so so wrong, especially when it feels like the whole world

should come to a complete abrupt halt to mourn the loss of a shining light.

It's hard for me, knowing that everyone out there but my honey sees this light as just a rabbit.

Most people think I overreact the loss of 'just a pet'...

It's hard that no one but my honey knows how special she was or how brightly she shone.

I can't make anyone understand that I am not mourning the loss of just a pet,

she wasn't a pet...she was my baby, my best friend, my sunshine...a soul mate.

I grieve for her as strongly as I do for any person that I've lost...

because she was larger and more positive in my life than a lot of people!

But all that being said, I feel like more than all the buns before, in over 20 years of being a bun mom,

I have to make my sunshine girl proud and I have to be strong...

which means to stop sleeping so much, to start eating...

to get up and take care of my hon & the other buns,

to get back into the studios even if I don't want to, to get back to my physio, to watch less tv!

So in that vein I am going to start blogging again because

blogging for me means focusing on the beautiful and positive

and once again, life cruelly shows how sudden and quick this life can be over for no reason at all.

We are still physically completely exhausted from the impossibly hard week that she was sick

But I know my girl, she'd want me to focus on the good

So even if I feel hollowed out...I am going to get up...I am going to try...

I am going to pretend that I am doing okay until I actually am!

2 comments:

Natascha said...: That sounds like a good plan and a great way to move forward. even if you have to fake it until you make it it's a step in the right direction.; November 28, 2016 at 3:54 PM
Denice said...: Being a Bun Mom takes a special kind of love and makes it even harder to let go I think. It's their complete trust that makes it different. She was better for having you to love her as are you from receiving her love in return. Take comfort in those small thoughts and create a beautiful something to honor her life & love! Peace & healing to you.
Denice; November 29, 2016 at 11:22 PM

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Flynn

Flynn

Flynn (aka Flea aka Bug) is our resident sous chef & grocery inspector. He was a special needs adoption due to a condition called ISC syndrome & being prone to gut problems. He also suffers from hypercalcemia, so every night he patiently gets his bladder expelled. He was a little stress urchin when rescued & still after all this time still has some of his street thug ways. But this pint sized cuties gorilla growls don't fool us for a second...he's one of the cuddliest little guys in the warren and loves a good inverted snuggle. He makes us laugh almost everyday when he does his nightly hallway zooms & flings himself around wildly often crashing into all the furniture. He loves blueberries the most I think & hate getting his face washed but he does like it when we put cream on his feet! Follow his adorableness on Instagram @leporidaelovely

Yuuji

Yuuji

otherwise known as our Soot Gremlin or Georgie Puddin is the easiest going guy around and he loves to retreat to his solo hideaway under the bed whiles he waits patiently for spring & summer fun even though he's the resident snow bunny. He was our youngest shelter adoptee & a sweet 8 months old when we brought him home. He was some impossible way the only little guy left and unwanted from a litter. He lost his mate Teela much too soon & everyday we miss and remember her together. Yuuji has chronic allergies so sometimes all the sneezing tuckers him out but nothing makes him happier than taking a nice long snooze on the coffee table in the middle of the afternoon. He's is the silliest fella and will just randomly pop in the air for no reason and he tells ya he's happy by wiggling his tail at you. Follow this velveteen beauty who gives the most calming snugs on Instagram @leporidaelovely

Misa Adora

Misa Adora

is my stars, moon & sun and basically my heart on four legs! She buoys me up like no other and is my best friend and balm for just about everything. She's full of beans & very energetic. Misa was in the shelter system for a long time & was in atleast two that we know of, despite being insanely cute she was overlooked because shes next to impossible to pick up & she was super duper skittish, shaking in a corner when I first met her...now with me, she's amazing and fun and playful and adventurous but still is a four feet on the ground at all times bunny. Hop on by for more of her dandelion puff ways @leporadae_lovely on IG

Leisel Be Good

Korra-Soleil

Korra-Soleil

Our Apricot Strudel is another babe whose had a rather rough start, she was in a Quebec shelter that was shut down & on the transfer day to the THS her bonded mate died. Than she was at the THS awhile, we meet her when we were there adopting somebunny else & we fell in love with her but than she was adopted to someone else only to be brought back a whole year later! The minute we saw she was back at the shelter we zoomed to the city to adopt her. She is a gentle girl & has sadly had more loss recently with the sudden passing of Emmett her best bud so she's been alittle sad. But this beautiful red-head of ours loves to hang out in her Daddy's office as he works. Visit our quiet heavy footed, stinky binkie loving girl @leporidaelovely on Instagram

********************

Jaks (aka Jelly Bean) passed away very peacefully at home on October 2nd 2018. He was 13 years old. He valiantly fought congestive heart failure just 3 days short of 3 years. He was a trooper when it came to all of his heart meds everyday, he was a trooper for everything that this life unfairly threw at him. First locked in a closet for his first year, than as a stressed out store mascot for a year, than going through many other challenges. He was always most happiest being in the studio with me, with our music on, snoozing his days away all toasty warm near the heating rad. He loved his morning oats, practicing his kung-fu chops and showing any broom or vacuum whose boss. Miss you everyday Jelly Bean. Your tenacity is now part of mine XO.

Betty-Loo White

Betty-Loo White

Betty-Loo White was not with us long enough. We adopted her in February of 2018, we had her for less than 4 months. She was sadly one of the buns who slipped through the shelter cracks & her teeth were a big problem right from the start. She passed away from heart failure during a necessary but routine dental procedure. She was our beautiful fluffy girl who will always leave a hole in our hearts. 4 months was more than enough time to completely fall in love with her gentle spirit. She was at the shelter a whole year & it breaks our hearts that we hadn't even begun to make up all the wrong that was done to her. She was only 5 year old and she leaves behind Henrie whom she bonded with instantly upon coming home. She was one of the rare adoptions who was super easy right from the start (despite the health problems) & we miss her so much. I am sorry we couldn't do better by you Betty-Loo, you were too gentle & good for this world.