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Monday, June 29, 2020

Happy 1 Year Rescue-Versary Fizz

Today marks 1 whole year since we rescued our Barnaby Fizz from a local neglect case.

He sprung to life almost immediately once home & he's amazing, my soul-baby & inspiration forever.

Saturday, June 27, 2020

Baby Fledgings

Well three little baby robins flew out of the nest in our front garden and I saw the Mama
feeding all three for a short time but lately I've been seeing only two around...

I think this is to date my most favorite bird photos that I've taken.  I LOVE our Nikon D750.
And I LOVE watching how hard the Mama robins have to work to feed & keep track of her babes.

Tuesday, June 23, 2020

Cancer Bruised

The doctors words are still echoing in my ears & heart,
both from nine months ago when we were stunned still to hear
"well I am very glad we found this thing when we did because this is a monster, this kind is a killer.."
and also from just a few weeks ago when we heard back
from the pathology 3 weeks earlier than expected!
"I know we hit this thing hard & fast right from the start &
that you've been through hell but I am happy to tell you that it was worth it....".
Apparently if this doctor hadn't of found it when he did, Jonathan would not be here within the year.

We came so close to loosing each other.
First when he was in the critical care with two pulmonary embolisms
where his chance of surviving one was apparently something like 30%, let alone with 2 of them!
and than with the cancer...that's been hard for me to process and face the reality of.

We are beyond ecstatic with the recent good news but we are honestly feeling numb...
all of it, every single minute is going to take awhile to let go of.
I think we've had to steel our hearts so completely just to cope with everything we've been through.
It's going to take some work & time to soften back up.
A therapist friend told me that we have post traumatic stress syndrome
from everything we've gone through these past 9 months.

We are also not entirely out of the woods yet either so I think that's part of it,
there's still a 10% re-occurrence rate, yes, that's a low number but with this monster it's still scary. 

These last several months traversing life with cancer & it's countless hospital visits, surgeries, treatments, scopes & all the fucken waiting for results will age even the most robust of souls....
he's gotten greyer, my wrinkles have gotten wrinkles...he's lost weight, I've put on weight...
the exhaustion has been systematic to say the least and it's not like we get to be done.

We remain vigilant with scopes every three months for the next 2-5 years but
we're only considered out of the woods in another 10-15 years apparently with this kind of cancer.
And Covid19 is still a huge danger as the doctor explained that Jonathan basically has
no immune system right now and building it back from something like this takes a really long time.
The clots are still present also,
(there's been permanent damage to the vein walls & valve in his leg from the deep vein thrombosis)
and the 2 clots deep in his lungs on top of chronic asthma are a huge danger in regards to the virus.

I think the thing is that cancer changes you...let alone cancer during a worldwide pandemic,
it's changed me anyhow, I won't speak for my honey.
It's brought to light a lot of things I need to deal with, like seeing who was really there for us,
seeing who came to the hospital, who bothered to help us out when we were so insanely exhausted, who bothered to reach out & call & ask how things were going, who checked in with us & who just gave me a punch of the shoulder with something flippant like 'Oh don't worry about it, he'll be fine'.
All of it's battered & bruised my heart up quite a bit.
and it's like this great news is floating on the top of everything,
that's the only way I describe it, like it's not sunk in yet, almost like we don't fully trust it!
It will sink in because we are so relieved
but at the same time it's going to take time to trust life again!

Saturday, June 20, 2020

Man In The Moon?

Were you one of those kids that believed in the man in the moon?

I think at one very short point when I was teeny weeny I did!

Thursday, June 18, 2020

Ahhh Hello Life

The front yard is feeling extra magical to me right now (besides the groundhog eating all our kale!)

 We have 3-4 wild ducks taking sanctuary under 3 different kinds of flowering lilacs...ahhh hello life.

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Quaratine Made Easy

Quarantine continues to be pretty easy with these cuties and this flowered filled workspace...

We still aren't going into stores but we did quickly hit the garden center when it was dead empty.

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Pothos Shelf

We made a new shelf for my studio and I love it...I wanted it in my studio doorway,
as a place to display my milk-glass collection
but also as a place to root pothos cuttings in the glassware
& it's a sweet spot to display some work too.

That's one of a million things I find fun about my hon-bun...he never says 'what another shelf?"
instead he says 'Sure, give me the dimensions and I'll see what wood I have".
I painted it white and used a really pretty pink metallic embossed wrapping paper on the backing.
I am so pleased with it. It's pretty & pink...just like the rest of my room.

Sunday, June 7, 2020

The Fledglings Have Flown

It was wonderful to watch the robin nest this past month...
three babies successfully flew away with their Mama.
I climbed up just get a better peek at the nest and saw there was 1 little egg that was not viable
but I left the nest and egg where it was as Robins usually have 3-4 batches of babies every season
and whiles they tend to build a new nest for each brood, they will take material from old nests.

It was a honor to watch them.  The Moms are sooo dedicated.
I know how nervous Robins are around people typically so I was pretty touched that she
got used to me and seemed okay with me fairly close to her babies when I was out watering
the garden and trying to get some quick snaps of her beautiful babies.
Nature it so amazing & powerful, the world would be better if more people embraced it's magic.

Saturday, June 6, 2020

Weekend Weaver

I can't believe it took me so long to finish my first weaving yikes!
I kept taking it apart and then I realized, it's never going to be perfect &
hey wait a minute,
I am totally just doing this for fun!

So I stopped taking it apart, it's a tad wonky
but overall pretty darn good for a beginner teaching herself
But it's done now and I can't wait to show you...I will soon, I promise, I just gotta get
some pictures of it, maybe I'll do so this weekend if my headache today doesn't carry on.

Friday, June 5, 2020

Dove Love

I am so in love with the doves...

and clearly they are so in love with each other.

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

Tote Bags

I am so happy to tell you that you can now get these four newer images of mine on Tote bags.
Save trees and stand out whiles doing your shopping with these 4 super colourful designs of mine.
Available in 3 sizes:  13 x 13", 16 x 16" and 18 x 18"
Prices go from $24.99 to $29.99
but right now there is a sale if your interested in grabbing one today.
All prices on the site are in USD.

These bags are made in a durable canvas like premium poly poplin.
They are double-stitched for sturdiness.
They have a black inner lining.
The cotton strap is a comfortable 1" wide
The image is printed on both sides.
and they are machine washable and tumble dryer friendly.

Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Awesome News

We thought we'd have to wait until the 19th for the pathology report from Jonathan's 3rd resection
but Jonathan's surgeon called us yesterday afternoon
and for whatever reason the pathology report took only 4 days instead of the usual 2 weeks
and I answered the phone for a private number which I hardly ever do...
and it was his surgeon calling to say there is NO SIGN OF THE CANCER WHATSOEVER...
he doesn't even have to get more BCG treatments at this point.

Just another scope in 3 months (for the next two-five years).
The re-occurrence rate is now less than 10%.
That's still a scary number when your talking about cancer but we're taking this as a win.
This is amazing news but it hasn't sunk in yet, I think we're just too exhausted.
The doctor did say that his immune system is completely shot & he basically doesn't have one now and that it will take some time to build up again, and the two pulmonary embolisms take up
to 2 years to be reabsorbed back into the body so we must keep being super vigilant about Covid19.
But we can go back to life now without that double edge knife of fear constantly cutting into us.
We're going to have an awesome summer even if we have to continue to self-isolate
and just putter around the yard & house with the buns and each other...
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Yayyyyyyy.

Monday, June 1, 2020

Happy Birthday Mom

Happy Happy Birthday to my Mom today...
I have to wish her a happy birthday from afar and that sucks

the love & wishes are all the same whether near or far but I do wish I could give her a hug.
We are there in spirit and we Love you Mom XOXO