Still Sore

I am still feeling sore to be completely honest.

Some days I still feel like falling to my knees.

Some days the pain is still so deep it takes my breathe away.

To everyone from the outside he was just a rabbit.

To us he was joy and sunshine and part of our heartbeat.

He was life and light and happiness and contentment all in one perfect beautiful furry body.

Now he's ashes and dust...

just like that...

he was here and now he's gone

but that's shockingly how it goes isn't it.

He's in a plain black box on my favorite rocking chair that gets the morning & afternoon sunlight...

as much as it kills to look at that box, we just can't tuck it away with the others quite yet....not yet.

 

 

We're still desperately missing every single little itty bitty thing about him...

the shape of his fuzzy ears, how his eyes changed colour from dark grey to light blue.

All the times we'd stretch out on the floor with him, trying to stay quiet, trying to contain the

laughter bubbling up from our tummies,

laughter born from the simple joy and sheer preciousness of having

our hands resting on his warm sweet tummy as he slept deeply & ran & ate in his delicious dreams.

The goofy little dances he'd do when we'd bring him his dinner.

The utter bliss in his eyes whenever Yuuji would groom him.

Everything...we're missing everything, for what is feeling like every minute of the day.

We are both missing our best friend.

We are both feeling disconnected from everything even though loveliness is abundant...

like when your sick and it feel like there's two parts of you that are just not moving in rhythm...

know what I mean?  Hmmm....maybe you don't,

but regardless, this is where I am....happy but sad...sad but happy...missing my Frenwyck

(I even miss saying his name!)

 

How are you doing these days?



In Memorial of my Grandpa

Today I am sad. My dear grandpa passed away yesterday and my heart is sad for the lose of him, but even more sad for my dad and all my grandparents children. So in honour of my wonderful, and beloved and creative and talented grandfather, I will share two pictures today.

My most favourite illustration I've done yet and one which holds very special meaning to me and one which I will never put up for sale because it has so much personal meaning, 'Every Beginning has an Ending, But Every Ending is But a Beginning..."

and last but not least, a picture designed, made and framed by my grandpa which I am so so so blessed to have and which we proudly display in our home...

My grandpa was a very talented guy. He made all kinds of beautiful things and grandpa if your out there listening...I will promise to proudly carry on the Saile's talented and creative line. I have other beautiful things that my grandpa sent home with my dad for me, but I have the need to keep them private and secret right now. My dear grandpa lived an exuberant and creative life and I just hope that I can continue to make him and my dad proud.

Thanks everyone, I am going to go now...until tomorrow when I should have a new piece to share with you all. Take Care of one another and love strongly.

A Few Of My Portraits

Hi Everyone, I don't have time today to conjure up a new painting unfortunately, but as I tried to sleep last night I did conjure up two more possible children's book ideals. I am so excited to have started work on them, though it took me a long time to decide which one to work on first as I've had many ideals over the past few years. However, I probably won't want to show anyone until it's all complete, that's always been my way!

Anyhow, today I am busy getting some things together for my dad to bring to my grandpa, just some old black and white portraits I've drawn up over the years. I love drawing from old black and white photos. After I am done this, we'll head over to my parents place for lunch and to hang out abit, before we go to the airport to see my dad off, he'll catch a flight here in North Bay to Toronto and then from Toronto straight to Zurich. I wish that I was able to go with him for support and to my beloved Germany and our people there, but there was simply no time for me to get my passport in time so I stay behind with a heavy heart.

The above portrait is my beautiful grandma Katie when she was quite abit younger, maybe in her early 20's. Let me show you some more (don't forget you can click on the images for a larger viewing)...

This is a picture of my grandma with my handsome grandpa, when they were just a young beautiful couple.

This is my grandma again (as you can see my grandma Katie is one of my most favourite people to draw from) here she is with her youngest son and my uncle, Rolf.

And here is my uncle Rolf as a little boy again. I just loved the composition of the old photo and though I changed it slightly, it's still pretty true to the original.

p.s. I do indeed take portraiture commissions.

Well, that's all for today. I think I'll share a few more portraits over the next couple of days. But for now, I just need to let myself be how I need to be and I look forward to an evening of just cuddling up with my honey and watching some movies. Take Care Everyone and until tommorow or Monday, Be Well....and stay cool!