Dust to Dust

Guys look...I found the coolest little urn for Jaky's ashes...

it has two compartments in it actually.

The ashes are inside a silk bag & some of his fur in the smaller compartment.  It sits on my big studio art display shelf because he was always with me in my studio & will always forever inspire my work.

A Star-Gazer named Whimbley

I started this image awhile back of a star-gazing frog named Whimbley.

I put it away for awhile because it made me miss Henrie too much.

I am ready to get back to it now and finish it off & conjure up Whimbleys tall tale

but I sure do miss looking down from my desk to see these two snuggled up next to me.

Missing Her

I've been feeling heavy in heart with missing Betty-Loo...
It's still hard to look at photos of her, she was so sweet and gentle and lovely.

I just found these photos of her that I thought I already posted but actually hadn't yet...

We were having one of the most perfect days in early Spring...

We had just adopted her...she had just bonded super quickly & easily with Henrie...

we were looking forward to a beautiful life together but our time was stolen by the unfairness of life.

Goes to show that you just never ever know & that's why despite all the shit present in every day

we have to concentrate on the love, on the good, on the pure & beautiful as much as possible XO.

Missing Elsie

I thought that it would be hard to see Henrie bonded with another bunny but honestly it hasn't been.

I am just over the moon that he has a friend, isn't lonely anymore &

that Betty-Loo makes him so happy and vice versa...

But that being said, I have been missing my Elsie girl....I miss holding her hand.

I've not been able to post these photos yet, as they are the very last ones that I took of her...

but it's time, because she was exquisite & beautiful & Henrie and I will never ever forget her ever.

We Sure Do Miss You

I miss our little brownie Min-Min (Emmett) so so much....

I still walk into his room expecting to see his sweet little face and heart shaped nose

and my heart squeezes because every time I saw that adorable little face

I just couldn't help but squeal and be flooded with happy.

I miss everything about him, the way he loved his box forts & bivawacks and
especially his warm mitten smell and the way he would hop all over my back & legs.

His bestie Korra-Soleil ran around looking for him for quite awhile after her suddenly left us...

it really made it all that much more gut-wrenching.  He loved his Korra so much.

She misses playing leap-frog in the yard with him...now when she goes out, she just kinda sits.

Grab and love your loved ones, fleshed, furry, feathered or scaled,

extra hard cause our time with them is so so very precious and short XO

Goodbye Min-Min

He is gone our adorable Emmett, our Min-Min, our Meep.

His heart just gave out on him at 3:30am Thursday night....

he died as he came home, wrapped ever so tightly in my arms.

Our sweet as pie, adorable energetic box troll...what will we be without you,

your leaving such a huge hole, for us, for Korra-Soleil...our world without you will never be right.

Loosing you so suddenly, so unexpectedly...you weren't sick,

you didn't seem sick at all, but the doctor said your heart was very sick,

that there was nothing for us to do, that sometimes it just happens like that,

super quickly, nobody none the wiser...I know it's nature, that it's life but I am so so so angry....

I know I will eventually carry on and be happy again because to not do so would be me
ignoring all the beauty you gave and taught me...
being your mama has made me a better happier person and I thank you for that forever baby,

but I just don't want to be without you, it doesn't make sense, I can't let go yet.

Your zest for life every single day was more than I see in a lot of people.

You were only 5, we adopted you only a short 3 years ago, it wasn't enough time

and we had so much more to make up to you after this awful world gave you such a horrible start.

First Elsie a few mere weeks ago, now you our wild little house brownie...

I think my heart is going to give out too.

RIP Elsie Biggens

Our beautiful Elsie girl died in my arms on August the 5th.

We thought we were just going in for another check up on her breathing problems

but that we would be bringing her back home.

Everything happened so quickly...we brought her in because she stopped eating

all together just that morning and she just would not at all let us give her critical care.

We were just there at the doctors, she was quite active, she started to nudge the doctor

than suddenly she jumped up into my arms, which is very unlike her, and from there it all went horribly wrong.  Her breathing got super bad, so we brought her into the operating room to hold oxygen to her face, Henrie was with us all by her side, we than tried to so an x-ray but her breathing got worse and the 2nd time we put her back on oxygen it just became compeltely clear that she wasn't going to get better, she was struggling to breathe and I decided it was time to help her pass

but the doctor didn't even have time to get the injection,  I was holding her, she was calm but

clearly struggling for breathe, I kissed her, told her it was okay to let go that we would take care of her boy, that she was so strong and so good and that we loved her so so much and than she was gone.

The doctor thinks it was after all as the original diagnosis was, a huge tumor growing inside her chest wall surrounding her heart and airway because after being on meds for two months,

he feels that punemoia would have gotten better not worse and the way she was acting at the end

indicated the story we were were more scared of, cancer.

It's our 3rd loss in a year and a half, it's been feeling like I just can't do it anymore.

I'll forever miss holding her hand...we always held hands, my Elsie girl and I.

On the very first day we brought her home and I realized she liked having her front paw held,

I would sing her that song "I just want to hold your hand, Elsie...I want to hold your hand"
and could tell and feel that she loved it...it was our special thing.

I am so glad I got to be her mommy and I promise her that we'll take stellar care of her Henrie.

She was pure perfect love and we are better happier people for having known and cared for her.

She will always be part of my happy heart and joyful spirit, I'll carry her beauty in me forever.

Missing You

I've been missing my best friend...

I know life goes on and all that jazz...

but a large part of mine hasn't, not yet anyhow...

I miss my bed snuggle time with her & our sharing snack time before bed...I miss her sweet face...

I miss her joyful energetic bouncy clumsy energy filling the house.

Every time I see her little box of ashes on the mantel

I want to scream and shout and stomp because it still feels unreal and unfair.

Everytime I look at Yuuji, I feel sad because I know he's lonely with missing her too

and he just isn't his usual self without his girl, whom he loved so so much.

 But I find a little solace in honoring her beautiful spirit through my art

and I am so glad that the very first image of my Artful Blogging feature

was indeed an ink portrait that I did of Teela.

It feels strange that the issue came out just a week before she left us.

I know time heals...But this one might take my whole lifetime.

If your up there bouncing about the stars...we're doing okay without you but we'd be better with you.

And we're missing you every single minute of every single day baby girl.

It Would Have Been Her Day

I know I may seem normal, I am back to instagraming, to blogging (not quite to the studios yet)

and no doubt there is beauty and love ricocheting off the walls in our little home...

but there's still a massive hole, that we have to mostly try our best

to ignore right now for self-preservation,

if we don't we'll fall into it's gaping all consuming black despairing depths...

so we're doing our best to concentrate on all that love bouncing around us still.

 

 

Today would have been her 4 year homecoming...

on this day 4 years ago we adopted her, our first shelter baby, our sunshine, our Tee-Tee & baby girl.

She was only 5...she should have lived another 5 at least...she was so healthy, until she was not.

I miss absolutely every thing about her, so much so that I can't breathe and I feel weak in the knees.

Especially our nightly snuggles...without them, without her, I am not 100% me.

I miss you baby girl. Forever.

In Memory Of Missy

We've have such a sadness in our family right now,

my parents sweet little dog Missy suddenly passed a couple of weeks ago...

 

 

It doesn't feel right not to remember her in a blog post so I am sharing some photos I took of her years back...she'll be sorely missed.  Love you little fur sibling to the stars and back again XO

Missing Hazel...It's Been A Year Today

...Oh Dear, Sweet Hazzy...our funny, silly & precious Pud...I can't believe it's been a whole year today that you've been gone...

...It feels like so much longer that you've been gone. It astounds me that a single heart handle missing somebody so much.  365 days sounds short but feels huge when it means you haven't been here with us...

...But we're doing good, Hazzy...Jinny is well, she misses you but she & jaky have bonded perfectly...he'll keep her good company until she's with you again, her most beloved sister...

...I hope your with Beanie, Thodan, Gimmley, Hobbs & Noo Noo, keeping them good company & teaching them to be sweet & silly like you...

...We think of you everyday & how having you in our lives blessed us and made us better...this is a special post for you my angel girlie...We miss you Hazzy...We love you still & always. XXOO

Plain Ramblings For Today

Good Afternoon Everyone, I admit to getting a very late start today and almost not getting to my blog. Today I am really missing our Noo, so I thought I'd post another photo of her, this one was taken the week she passed. She had a window bench and she would spend hours up there just watching the world of the front yard, enjoying the air when we'd crack the window open, or laying all stretched out in the sun like a cat. She sure knew how to enjoy the day.

I am not 100% sure yet but I might be switching all of my entries over to another blog system. There is apparently a problem with my account, I can not upload any kind of graphics for the blog header, etc which doesn't really work for me because as a creative person I need to be able to make my blog somewhat distinctive. I hope things get resolved soon as I am already used to and enjoy the blogger system. I have been waiting to spread my blog address around, until it's fixed up the way I wanted and I am just not quite sure how much longer I can wait.

Aside from doing all of my art and illustration, I also love crafts. I am by no means an expert but I do know how to crochet a pretty decent 'granny square'. I usually do the bulk of my crocheting/knitting in in the winter. Or when one of the furries is sick. This blanket was made sitting by Thodan and Noo when they were ill. I am happy with it, what do you all think. It's for our den so I am thinking of putting a lining to it.

That's going to be all for today, sorry all...I am off to the coffee shop for our usual Friday cake and coffee hour with my lovely friend Maria. Have a wonderful weekend. Be Well.

Missing Our Snicker-Noodle

Our sweet little Noo passed away on March 2nd after a very tough and brave battle with a very aggressive cancer. She was 6 years old but we only had her for 2, it just wasn't long enough. The night before she passed away in my arms, we watched a beautiful sunset together, during this precious time her eyes told me that she was ready to go see her partner Hobbs and her best buddy Thodan (who left us just this past November). The beauty of that sunset mixed with the beauty of her little spirit and soul was something I could almost not take in completely, that is the only way I can describe that moment. Noo was a bunny full of strength, heart,appreciation, forgiveness and sweetness. Now I could go on and on about our sweetie pie but all I'll say is that some of the best life lessons can indeed be taught by a small little rabbit. Thank you Noo for all that you gave us, you loved us so well and your with us every minute of every day.

Noo used to run around my painting room, under my easel, pulling on my pants as I worked because she always wanted snuggles. This weekend, I think I will spend some time in there and rearrange things...right now it's hard to be in that room to paint, I just end up standing still and missing and thinking about my little friend. So I thought perhaps if I switch things up abit, it'll make the room abit easier to be in. Which will be good for Hazel and Jin...Noo's sisters who miss having me in there all the time. So that shall be my weekend plan I think. I hope all of you have a great weekend. Take Care and I'll post again on Monday.